Home for the Holidays

Or, rather, what to do when you’re not!

For those who know me well, it’s not a secret that the hardest American holiday for me to miss while living overseas is Thanksgiving.  In fact, it’s harder than all the other ones combined.  And as testament to its still non-commercial value, it hasn’t yet hopped over The Pond.

Which is to say there could be a bit of a reprieve if I could pick a restaurant nearby and have some facsimile of the Thanksgiving feast.  However, while I have seen hundreds of free-range chickens while out-n-about here in the Netherlands, I have never seen one turkey.  I don’t think the Dutch grow them.  Besides, if our microwave-sized oven is typical of most, no turkey would fit in it whole.

Dear Astrid has offered each year for us to drive to Amsterdam an hour away to eat the traditional meal at Hard Rock Café.  Bless her.  But it’s not the same, with the rest of the country working and my own family absent.

So, after resigning myself now for the third year in a row, I resort to the “second blessing”…the memories of years past with good family, good food, good fun and good…FOOTBALL.

Though I paid my dues and did my fair share, I was not one who ever gravitated to the kitchen over the holidays.  In later years my mantra was “I’ll do the dishes if you cook!”  You’d quicker see me in front of the TV with the men-folk, watching, if I was lucky, the grand finales of the college football season.

Now, skip back to when we were in Atlanta this past September.  That’s when grandson Nicholas (my dancing partner) roped Astrid into getting the house rigged up for football action at the beginning of the season. 

But here’s the thing….

We make up one heck of a football family!  When 3 of the 4 colleges/universities represented are BIG ones, you’re really talking football business.  There’s moi, a MICHIGAN grad (U of M, Go Blue).  Amy, my firstborn, is a grad of Flagler College in St. Augustine, FL, not what you’d call a football school (said with a straight face).  But she married a man who more than makes up for that as a SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (USC) grad.  And son Mark graduated from GEORGIA.  Three biggies and all from different conferences, so we can all be happy when each other wins.

Did I mention OREGON?  Nope.  That’s because it’s still a figment of Nicholas’ imagination right now.  It’s HIS favorite football school because…he likes the colors (or so he told Astrid).

Now that you know the important details, you understand why it was hard to be away from the family right now.  Did I mention good family, good food, good fun and good…FOOTBALL?

I always flip a switch, of course.  The money I would spend on a feast I give to charity.  And when I stopped to really think about it, I said to Astrid, “In spite of missing home for the holidays, look at how much I have here with you!”  For one, we drove an hour away to Antwerp, Belgium, on Black Friday and spent an overnight there to see the city.  How many in my family would have given anything to do that!

And besides, while last year Michigan finally beat Ohio State after a 7-year losing streak, sadly they lost 2 days ago in what must have been a nail-biter, 26-21.

Astrid says, “Sometimes you lose and sometimes you gain.” 

And always you have the memories…the second blessings.  I truly am thankful!

All the World's a Stage

CNN World Headquarters, Atlanta, GA

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts….
--William Shakespeare, As You Like It

If ever there’s been a stage with its players…if ever a time for exits and entrances…it’s been this 2012 American presidential election, ready to take its “final” bow tomorrow.

Fear not.  This is not a political announcement and I do NOT approve that message.

This is an announcement about the world being our stage.  Not America.  Not the UK.  Not Europe.  The WORLD.  The  w h o l e   w i d e   w o r l d.

This is an announcement about how love wins, not hate.  About how peace begins with us in our own homes and relationships.  No matter who wins the election tomorrow!

For the past 7 years I have lived in Europe part or full-time every month.  For the last 3 years it’s been full-time, while married to my Dutch wife.  It actually helps to get away to see America as others outside see it.  As Astrid and her co-workers see it.  You learn what truly is ugly.  What makes your eyes roll. 

I’m not always proud to be an American, to be honest….

BUT. 

I AM an American and have a rich heritage of freedoms many in the rest of the world can only dream of.  For one, I can vote, and I did.  My absentee ballot was mailed over a month ago, and even though it’s from a very RED state and means my vote probably doesn’t count, I had the freedom to vote.  I’d like to believe it counts on some level.  Sure, I can’t yet move back to said Red State with Astrid as my wife (or any state, for that matter, Red or Blue), but I had the freedom to leave and marry her here.  [And we can go back to visit without being stoned.]

Love wins, not hate.  And so as the stage takes on a new energy tomorrow, regardless of who wins, my heart is expanding to accept it, at all costs.  Against all odds.  If my candidate wins, will I be gracious in victory?  If my candidate loses, will I be gracious in defeat, trusting a Greater Power to stem the tide of a rearing, vitriolic head seldom seen in election years?

Talk about the gut-wrenching power of social media!  The money spent!

When the dust settles from all the lies and hate, we’ll be left with the world stage and how America will once again find her way.  I watched her stumble and lose her foothold there for awhile.  Then she started to stand tall once again.  Does she need to be #1 in the world?  I doubt it.  Does she need to be the best in everything?  She’s not!  I'm over it.  But does she need to lead by example and get her house back in order?  Oh yes, Virginia.  YES.

The choice tomorrow is America’s but the impact is on the entire world, whether we like it or not.  Will we embrace ourselves as well as the rest of the human family on earth?  Will we move forward in the spirit of solidarity?  Will we cooperate globally?  Will we Blog4Peace?  

Merely players.  Exits and entrances.  Many parts.  The grand scheme of things.  Love, not hate.  Peace, not war. 

Dona Nobis Pacem
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me!
(I approve this message.)

Collaboration

col·lab·o·rate intransitive verb \kə-ˈla-bə-ˌrāt\:  to participate or assist in a joint effort to accomplish an end.
Synonyms band (together), concert, concur, conjoin, conspire, join, league, team (up), unite.
Related Words connive, affiliate, ally, associate, combine, confederate, hang together, interface, co-operate.

For starters, today is Robin’s day to post here at V&V.  Which is why she’s all over the place up above.  She’s there because…we collaborated!

It was a no-brainer once I had the brain fart.  Here she was on my side of the Pond, “short of eyes” while out-n-about in both Belgium and the Netherlands, often without internet access, flying home today (as we speak), and…let’s face it, outside her own world. 

So, after hanging together for 3 days this past weekend, Astrid with us, of course, we banded together and made the swap.  You’ll see her next Monday in my spot.

That got me thinking about virtual realities, the blogosphere, our websites…and collaboration. 

Vision and Verb has been around now for almost 3 years, thanks especially to Marcie, our founder.  A handful of us still remain who can remember those early days.  And while we’ve watched many come and go, we’ve connived to protect a sense of “family” through our daily cooperation with women “of a certain age” around the world.  Even with some men who’ve dared to show up!

When it’s possible to actually meet bloggers in real life, virtual collaboration takes on a whole new meaning.  I, for one, will never “see” Robin in the same way again.  Trust me.  I will read her posts with a different knowingness and hope you will, too, because of all those smiles you see above.

I felt the same way about Petra and Cherry…2 other collaborators I’ve been privileged to meet...along with scads of photo-bloggers at my own Shutterchance site when Astrid and I met up with them in England 3 years in a row.

Marcie and I have talked about how fun it would be to have a Vision and Verb meet-up.  Can you imagine conspiring to unite one day, teaming up for a day or weekend of interfacing with each other!  Sure, it would be nigh impossible to get us all together in one concerted effort…but even if it’s one person at a time, why not!  Next year I hope to meet Sue, just north of Atlanta.  And Marcie…maybe in NYC with Robin.  These things take planning, you know.

To be honest, I’m thinking about this because of a recent discussion about our joint effort here.  And because of my August trip back to Michigan with my family!  I know it’s not the same for everyone; we all see things differently.  But to and for me, you are sometimes a better “family” than my own biological family.  They say blood is thicker than water but my own experience allies more with “you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends.”

Okay, so I’m the sister everyone else can read like a book, and maybe you’re not, but at least I come to our “home” each day to see/hear you.  You talk.  I pay attention.  I listen.  I try to get to know you a bit better.  You do the same.  Together we team up to make something very special happen…something unique.

I don’t care what anyone else says, I just have to say THANK YOU.  Thank you for participating in this joint effort.  Thank you for being part of this association to accomplish an end.

And thank you for making me feel like I belong!  I hope you feel it, too!

Dance Like No One is Watching

Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like no one is listening,
Live like it's heaven on earth.  
--William Purkey

And we did, as most of you already know!  For over two hours straight, Astrid and I danced our feet off at my nephew’s farm wedding in Michigan.  It was our first time to dance publicly in our 5 years together, with my extended family watching (as I mentioned here). 

Michelle, the official wedding photographer, said, when she found only 5 images:  “I'm sorry - I thought it was more.  Maybe I was just watching the two of you dance and not clicking the button as much as I thought!!!  Haha.”  So, she, too, was watching.

Now, a fun, God-honest story:  When Astrid looked at her watch at one point (a different kind of watching), it was supposedly 9:12p.   Unbeknownst to her, that’s when her watch had stopped.  So you can imagine her disbelief when I told her shortly thereafter it was 11p.  She had thought the night was still young!  You and I know, of course, the Wood Elves played a lovely trick on her just to keep the magic alive.  She is, after all, the stronger dancer and knows how to lead...ME!  Heaven on earth.

That was Saturday in Michigan.  How could anything ever top that!

The next day we flew to Atlanta to be with my kids and grandson.  As daughter Amy was preparing supper, with lovely music playing in the background, Nicholas, now 12, said.  “C’mon, G’ma.  Let’s dance!”  He had not been at the Saturday wedding but was perhaps remembering from a year ago how we had danced at the cabin.  At one point he rested his head against my chest (here)…as though he didn’t care a whit he was dancing with his g’ma, while Mommy, Dennis, Astrid and Uncle Mark watched!

And just like that, it was once again heaven on earth. 

How does this happen?  Something so simple becoming so powerful.  Losing self-consciousness.  Blowing all caution to the wind.  Going for broke.  Giving no regard to what anyone else thinks.

Is it a choice we make in an instant?  Is it as easy as flipping a switch?  Does someone have to give us permission?  Do we need guidance…or does it come from a place deep within us since the foundation of the world?

And why doesn’t it happen more often?  If we’ve tasted it before, why don’t we just jump at every chance we get?  Who told us we couldn’t do it?  When did we start believing we had anything but magic at our fingertips? 

And where is it written we can’t make heaven on earth?  Who said we couldn't decide for ourselves?

On Facebook, before leaving, I saw the following and smiled, anticipating what had already been set into motion by all of you who cheered us on:

So, I took your advice and danced like no one was watching.
My court date is later this month.

Thank you…and smile like you mean it!  :)