Shouting From the Rooftops

Passau, Germany

The one time in my life I could have literally climbed to the rooftops of every building in the whole wide world was the day son Mark, all those years ago, fell out of the car flying at 70 mph and ended up scraping only two of his precious little 2-year-old fingers.  I already told you that story.

It was a miracle, acclaimed by the doctor himself.  If you had said it wasn’t, I would have fought you to the end…and won.

Without thought to political grandstanding or stirring up murky religious or moral waters for some…please indulge me in saying what happened last week (Wednesday, June 26), with the striking down of DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act, comes in a close second. 

It was a miracle I never expected to see in my lifetime, except for, perhaps, this last year as I’ve watched the marriage-equality ball around the world roll faster and faster, like a whirlwind.

   

It’s not a “done deal” by any stretch of the imagination but the first step is there:  as regards immigration law, I can now sponsor Astrid for green-card status in America by simple virtue of the fact we have a legal Dutch marriage.

With that comes access to over 1000 Federal marriage benefits related to taxes, health, pension, social security, etc., just as with so-called straight marriages.  Sounds like a huge YIPPEE.

However, the glitch happens at the state-by-state level as each grapples with YES or NO to the marriage-equality question.  Why that matters to me personally is because if we chose to live in Michigan (where my tribe lives) or Georgia (where my children and grandson live), we would not have state marriage benefits.  Those states do not yet support marriage equality.  Furthermore, they are not required to recognize same-sex marriages carried out in other states or countries.

Did you get that?  How is it possible to be married in America but not in Michigan or Georgia?  Does that make sense to you?

I’m not a prophet but the handwriting appears to be on the wall that, sooner than we all think, the whole ball of wax will be a “done deal.”  Even Scalia, the most conservative and dissenting of the Justices in this Opinion said as much after Wednesday’s ruling.  He all but threw up his hands in despair.  It’s just a matter of time.  “Argle-bargle,” he said.

When that day comes…in my lifetime, I believe…I will not only climb to all the rooftops again but will surely feel I’ve died and gone to heaven!

Speaking of heaven, it would have been Mom’s 97^th birthday last Wednesday.  I thought of her all day long, somehow sensing her presence.  In spite of being a conservative preacher’s wife, she was always a woman ahead of her time, questioning the status quo.  There was always something sensible about her…once she got all the facts.

So, this is for you, Mom.  This is for believing all things.  This is for love winning and shouting it from the rooftops.

This is also for all of you who stood by our side and cheered us on.  THANK YOU!

LOVE ALWAYS WINS.
Love is love.  Family is family.  Marriage is marriage.

All Geared Up

All geared up and ready to go!

As we speak, Astrid and I are packing for our annual trip westward over the Big Pond next week.  We’ll land first in Michigan for my favorite nephew’s wedding on The Farm, after which we’ll fly to Atlanta to be with my kids, grandson and friends the following 2 weeks.

Without belaboring the point, some of you know my conservative, fundamentalist, Christian, preacher-father family history.  However, in the same kind of way I usually do NOT like to use the gay/lesbian/homosexual words to describe myself, I do NOT like calling myself a Christian, even though I mostly am.  I just don’t like the negative definitions and interpretations that have nothing to do with either.  I’m a lesbian, but…not like that.  I’m a Christian, but…not like that.  And no, it’s not an oxymoron.

Which brings me to dancing at the wedding.  Astrid and I have a daily practice of dancing which is very important to us both.  However, knowing this could be a touchy situation for many in the family (for whom dancing is still relatively new), I wrote Peter to ask his honest druthers about our dancing at his wedding.  This isn’t about us but about him, I said.  Luckily, he generously replied that he and Andrea would be offended if we didn’t!  In fact, her sister will be bringing her girlfriend and plan to dance the night away.

Did I mention this will be the first time most of my extended family will finally meet Astrid (after our 5 years of knowing each other this month)?!  Astrid takes it all in stride.  She doesn’t care if they like and accept her or not.  She is who she is, she says.  Take it or leave it.

I wish I could be so…tame.

Which brings me to the absentee ballot I’ll fill out in Atlanta for the November election.  Who do you think will quicker facilitate Astrid moving back to America with me as my wife?!  As she prepares to retire in the next couple of years, her Euro and my dollar will both go much farther there.  I’d like to think we’ll have that choice once the time comes, even if we decide not to do it. 

I want the possibility.  The option.  Without having to ask.  For all of it…the dancing, the moving.  I don’t really ask for much, do I?  To be honest, I wish I wasn’t even having this conversation!  Do you get as sick and tired of it as I do?

What is it they say to never talk about in a public forum like this:  sex, religion and politics?!  Okay, then.  You didn’t hear any of this from me.

It’s time.  Time for a lot of things.  Time for change?  But for right now, we really are all geared up and ready to go, which is so much better than the alternative, all dressed up and nowhere to go, don’t you think?

Wish us peace.  Wish us shalom.  Life is short (tick tock).  Life is good.  We keep believing all things!

It's About Time

For one thing, we know it flies.  Especially when you're having fun!

In my last post, I mentioned that Astrid and I were getting married here in Holland on February 5, a week ago.  Can I believe it's already a week later?  NO.  See?  That's what I mean.  Time does that.  It plays tricks on you.

The above image is the one I posted on my Shutterchance blog the day of our wedding.  It's the sundial on the side of the Grote Kerk (Big Church) two blocks from our apartment.  Astrid and I were photo hunting on January 1 after a delightful New Year's Eve celebration here at our senior-living complex.  We woke up to a bright, sunshiny day, the beginning of a new year...and walked around our citadel city with our cameras in hand, doing what we love to do.

Now, look at the time.  Can you read a sundial?  I always laugh when I see a sundial like this on the side of a church, thinking of all those people who had no excuse for not getting to church on time (remember, my dad was a preacher!).  I "collect" sundials (as I do windmills and clock towers and construction cranes and weathervanes) and then I laugh because...I have no clue how to tell sundial time, especially if the sun isn't shining (guess that's why it's a SUN dial!).  Most of it never makes sense to me.  Nor have I ever Googled to figure it out.  But if I'm not mistaken, it's 2 o'clock, right?

Guess when Astrid and I got married last Friday!  Yup.  2 o'clock in the afternoon.  Did we know on January 1, 2010, we were going to be married on February 5, 2010, at 2 o'clock?  NO.

Call it coinky-dink.  Call it serendipity.  But don't you just love it when you get to a certain age and have all these experiences under your belt that make you smile.  They're AHA! moments in time.

By the way, it was the best day of our lives together thus far!  And YOU helped to make it that way by all your fabulous best wishes.  THANK YOU.  You made Time stand still for us.  It was an "eternalized moment."  THANK YOU.

(If you wish to see our online wedding album, just let me know.)