Thursday, January 28, 2010

No One Can Teach You To See

You're right.  This is not a photo...but it's Vision and a place to start my Verb.

This is a scan of a felt-tip drawing I did in high-school art class c. 1962.  Maybe I was 16?  Felt-tipped pens had just come on the market and were like dying and going to heaven for us artists, even though they had not yet been finessed into the fine tips we use today.

But here's the thing.  Where did this drawing come from?  I was a gay girl trapped in a conservative, fundamentalist body...the daughter of a Baptist preacher in Podunk City, Michigan, in the age when "gay" buzzwords did not yet exist.  I knew I was different, not like the other girls, but I didn't know there was a word for me.  All I knew was that I was trapped in a silence that equalled death.  I could not speak my Truth.  I was alone.  I was not a free girl running with abandon under the Tree of Life.

Segue now to the current movie,
Avatar, where at one point is the incredible line by Neytiri, "No one can teach you to see."  Does that mean we are all born with Vision but have to find it within us?  Maybe it's the Eyes we have to find!  How many times do we look at something and don't see it.  How many times do we hear something and don't get it.  Then one day, seemingly out of the blue, it's there in plain view.  We find our Eyes.

When I started blogging 5 years ago, I was not ready to use a portrait of myself in my profile.  Dear sister
Ruth encouraged me to use the above drawing, which I called my Soul Girl.  Recently she called it my avatar.

Do you sometimes write a Verb or see a Vision and wonder "Where did that come from!"  When did my avatar become me; when did I become her?  Today I am free, running with abandon, and will marry my Dutch partner on February 5, a week from today, here in the Netherlands.  So, was this avatar Prophetic Vision?  Was she answering me before I called?  Did she help me find my Eyes?

I have a feeling this will become a frequent "conversation" here at V&V:
Neytiri:  I see you.
Jake Sully:  I see you. 

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