Between You, Me and the Lamppost

And, borrowing another good phrase, don’t you just love it when you’re surprised by joy!

A couple of weeks ago, back in January, Astrid surprised the heck out of me when she unfurled a well-formed brain fart to trade in our 4-year-old car for a new one. 

In 2010 we had purchased out-right our Granny Towanda (above), 3 months after I moved to Dutchland.  Her Granny-Smith-Apple green, melded with Towanda from Fried Green Tomatoes, was a perfect match for us ladies of a certain age, we thought.  Astrid treated her with kid gloves every single day and praised the ground she drove on.  I never saw anyone take better care of a car.

So when at 48K km (30K miles) Astrid unfurled her plan, I was startled.  Somehow I assumed Granny Towanda (GT) was just getting started.  Maybe by American standards, yes, but by Dutch standards?  No.  (Remember “200 years vs. 200 miles?”)  Apparently 50K km is the magic number over which you don’t drive if you want a good trade-in deal on a small car. 

And so a bit bemused, I sat back and watched the story unfold.  One week after hatching her plan, we talked shop with Pedro over a new car.  He had sold us GT and knew Astrid well enough to see the good deal he was getting, especially since Daihatsu was no longer selling our car in Europe.  It was a win-win…and a week later we picked up our “new” silverleaf Škoda Citigo, a 6500 km demo we couldn’t refuse.  It was like Christmas a month late, which I never saw coming.

But that’s not the surprise I’m talking about!

Remember when I mentioned last post how the Dutch turn the year when January comes…and how I wanted to turn it upside down to rattle my cage?  Hoping all the bad stuff would slide right out and leave room for new energy!

Well, it’s mid-February and the revolution has begun!  Call it an intention, call it a mantra, call it my word for the year.  But in the same way I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning with thank-you on my lips, I have now added “…and WHO?!”  Thank you…and WHO?   Who can I reach out to today?!  Who can I love, help, build up, encourage, comfort, praise?!  Who can I surprise by joy?!

Not to sound corny but…IT’S WORKING!  I’m not thinking about me, myself and I all the time now,   which was the point.  My focus is more outward than inward.

Between you, me and the lamppost…I’m calling this my 2014 personal REVOLUTION.  It’s like I’m on a war path.  GET OUT OF MY WAY, Ginnie.  I’m way too old to not “get it” and still young enough to change.  Thoughts become actions, you know, and actions become a way of life.  And they have the power to surprise the heck out of us! 

¡Viva la Revolución!  Viva the JOY! 

 

As the Year Turns

The Broerenkerk in Bolsward, NL.

No one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins,
and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.  (Mark 2:22)

Sometimes I just want to tear everything down, sweep everything out, and start all over again!

In Dutch, when the New Year arrives, it’s called jaarwisseling:  turning of the year.  What I want to do this year is grab it by the collar and turn it completely upside down.

I’ve come to that tipping turning point when I’m sick and tired of many things from last year(s):   ASSumptions.  Expectations.  Jealousies.  Comparing.  Analyzing.  Judging.  Criticizing.  Calculating.  Keeping score.  Taking notes.  Guessing.  Being offended.  Taking things personally.  ASSumptions.

What did So-and-So mean when she said that?  Why didn’t she say “Thank You?”  I’m not a gourmet cook like she is…and that embarrasses me because…???  She Liked and Commented on So-and-So’s post but not mine.  What does that mean?  When did she get to be the judge of good photography?  How come they chose her and not me?  She is so poetic.  Why can’t I be like her?

And on and on it goes.  Those voices in the head.  The devils on the shoulder.  Whispering.  Always whispering.

Some of us have already talked about this.  Was it the same before the internet?  Before social media?  When did it all start?  At school?  Home?  In our religious up-bringing?

Always competing.  Always comparing.  Always thinking I’m less than.  Always wanting to be someone I’m not and never understanding why.

Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.  It’s always about ME.

I WANT SOME NEW WINE!  But you can’t pour it into old wineskins, says Holy Writ.  You’ve got to “turn the year” and start with something new. 

Love your neighbor as yourself.  Nothing new about that! 

Have you ever thought about why it takes us so dang long to love ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin?  Shouldn’t we have it down pat by now?  I think it’s a conspiracy to keep us from doing what’s important…like loving the world and trying to make a difference in it, wherever we are.

And so in these early days of a new, turned year, I am dead set on standing up to those little devils who get away with murder.  I love and accept myself just the way I am.  I love and accept you just the way you are.  (Which doesn’t mean I’m okay with either one of us getting away with murder, by the way.)

And when I bow with my Namaste to you, I do not compare or judge or chide…either one of us.  No one is asking "who’s better?”  But if you are the one, then Hallelujah.

IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE, Ginnie!  Which is why my intention for 2014 is:  To be concerned about my own achievements less and about the success of others more. 

Everyone wins!  Everyone scores!  Everyone is good enough!  Everyone is…better than good enough!

So, let’s all turn the year—this year—completely upside down, in whatever ways we need it, personally or collectively.  Let’s open some new bottles of wine and throw out the old wineskins. 

HELLO, 2014!  Are you ready for us?

All Geared Up

All geared up and ready to go!

As we speak, Astrid and I are packing for our annual trip westward over the Big Pond next week.  We’ll land first in Michigan for my favorite nephew’s wedding on The Farm, after which we’ll fly to Atlanta to be with my kids, grandson and friends the following 2 weeks.

Without belaboring the point, some of you know my conservative, fundamentalist, Christian, preacher-father family history.  However, in the same kind of way I usually do NOT like to use the gay/lesbian/homosexual words to describe myself, I do NOT like calling myself a Christian, even though I mostly am.  I just don’t like the negative definitions and interpretations that have nothing to do with either.  I’m a lesbian, but…not like that.  I’m a Christian, but…not like that.  And no, it’s not an oxymoron.

Which brings me to dancing at the wedding.  Astrid and I have a daily practice of dancing which is very important to us both.  However, knowing this could be a touchy situation for many in the family (for whom dancing is still relatively new), I wrote Peter to ask his honest druthers about our dancing at his wedding.  This isn’t about us but about him, I said.  Luckily, he generously replied that he and Andrea would be offended if we didn’t!  In fact, her sister will be bringing her girlfriend and plan to dance the night away.

Did I mention this will be the first time most of my extended family will finally meet Astrid (after our 5 years of knowing each other this month)?!  Astrid takes it all in stride.  She doesn’t care if they like and accept her or not.  She is who she is, she says.  Take it or leave it.

I wish I could be so…tame.

Which brings me to the absentee ballot I’ll fill out in Atlanta for the November election.  Who do you think will quicker facilitate Astrid moving back to America with me as my wife?!  As she prepares to retire in the next couple of years, her Euro and my dollar will both go much farther there.  I’d like to think we’ll have that choice once the time comes, even if we decide not to do it. 

I want the possibility.  The option.  Without having to ask.  For all of it…the dancing, the moving.  I don’t really ask for much, do I?  To be honest, I wish I wasn’t even having this conversation!  Do you get as sick and tired of it as I do?

What is it they say to never talk about in a public forum like this:  sex, religion and politics?!  Okay, then.  You didn’t hear any of this from me.

It’s time.  Time for a lot of things.  Time for change?  But for right now, we really are all geared up and ready to go, which is so much better than the alternative, all dressed up and nowhere to go, don’t you think?

Wish us peace.  Wish us shalom.  Life is short (tick tock).  Life is good.  We keep believing all things!